Ponting smashes TV and then beats women and children with cricket bat

It’s now apparently time to boot alledged TV basher Ricky Ponting out of the world cup and banish him to Libya to accompany Colonel Gaddafi in his bunker during his fight to the death.

Ponting’s actions on Monday were incomprehensible and this kind of behaviour will not be tolerated by the Gujarat Cricket Association (GCA), he now needs sacking as Australia captain and ejecting from the world cup with immeadiate effect.

According to reports I have read and heard, it appears that Ponting seen a rerun of his run out and smashed the television set to bits with his bat in a rage, the splinters of glass then flew off in all different directions injuring officials and also members of the public who just happened to be walking under an open window near to where it happened.

He was then seen running around chasing women and kids, swinging his bat at them and screaming and shouting like a mad man. Apparently the ICC are also now trying to get him and are waiting for him in Nagpur, probably hiding outside the school gates.

Now, whats this I hear? Oh, apparently that isn’t quite true after all? What? It seems that things got over exaggerated and blown out of all proportion, really? Why would anyone want to do a thing like that?

Yes, a more realistic version of events has emerged, apparently something – either a glove or his box – was chucked and bounced off his bag hitting the tele and knocking part of the pixels out. A slight contradiciton to some off the extravagent stories doing the rounds over the past couple of days (Ok, so I may have exaggerated my version as well).

I’ve been looking on some of the websites reporting this story and some of the write-ups and readers comments are out of this world.

Some people say he’s a racist, they want him booted out of India, banned from cricket, it’s total madness. What planet are these people living on? It’s just an accident, he’s paying for the damage, so calm down folks.

It cannot be denied though that it is a funny story. Not just the tele incident, but the hysterical over reaction to it. So to join in, I’ll give you my version of events.

I reckon that when Ponting got back in the dressing room, a certain Duncan Fletcher video was playing on the TV, in which he was explaining how he kept his bowlers fresh and how it helped him win a test match at Trent Bridge back in 2005.

Ponting was then engulfed with rage, it reopened old wounds and he couldn’t help himself and he tried to pull the LCD down off the wall. While being restrained by Watto, 8 for 1000 and Mitch, the TV was dropped on the floor and smashed.

In the reckage where Fletcher’s face had been, was a glove belonging to Ponting. This was the evidence used to confirm his guilt.

4 thoughts on “Ponting smashes TV and then beats women and children with cricket bat

  1. Hahaha, very good.

    Every Pakistani, not necessarily just Pakistani cricket fans, will be completely familiar with this.

    What can I say Dean…there is a reason why Pakistan was made 🙂

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